"Are you kidding me?"
“No, im adulting you”
I seriously hate those moments where you randomly think about a time you did something stupid and it kills you that you didn’t do it differently. It could be from years ago and it would still kill you that you did that stupid thing and it plays over and over in your head til you distract yourself…and you still feel stupid about it all these years later. AND! You feel stupid for feeling stupid about the thing that happened years ago!
I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?
oh thank god i thought i missed something big
trying to bang with ur boo while ur parent in the other room
Mom, Dad….sit down, sit down…….I’m……Adopted
me: ur legs r so smooth babe..
gf: that me wooden leg
I wish I was pretty but like actually pretty, not “my friends and family think I’m pretty because they’re my friends and family” pretty